How to Criticize Computer Scientists (2001)

Another insult against a theorist: "Interesting, I'm from industry and this appears very applicable to some of the work we're doing right now."

I feel it misses a reliable take-down of the systems people. Recipe: (1) ask the person if they have evaluated some framework which would take months to evaluate; (2) suggest that their hard work reinvents the wheel; (3) step back and enjoy a smug victory. On the odd occasion that they have evaluated the framework you named, you can simply try again a few minutes later with a different framework. If you are challenged, use condescension to imply that the…

I once witnessed a wily 40-something Master's student torturing one of the department's young star PhD candidates. The PhD student had caught one of his mistakes and was taking it back, as any honorable academic should. The Master's student continued on, pretending as if the PhD student was insisting on the correctness of his earlier assertion. You could see the urgency with which the PhD student was trying to roll over and expose his belly, and his perplexity at that…